Here's an emotional response question:

What is the first emotional response that comes up when one discovers that another artist one loves to work with is applying for the same grant at the same time?

For me it was about 1.3 seconds of fear.

I discovered rivalry at the root of it in about .4 seconds. I don't do rivalries so the next feeling was excitement and pride, a sense of sharing and community. That's my process for this instance of emotional responding.

Then I moved on to what work could I do with the artists in the room right now that will linger in the universe.

Why my emotional path took this route - a brief summary:
Love and pride in work are what guides me as an artist. I identify the "would be rival" as having a quality in her work that equals my own, or "I believe she would be a brilliant fellow." A fear of lack often accompanies this feeling. In an undeveloped psyche, my reptilian brain response may be "take out the rival" as though we were fighting for food.

But since love and excellence guide my thoughts, I identified this lower thought form quickly and, giving it a moment to love itself fully, moved on to a more universal understanding of the emotional triggers.

Being in the company, as I was, with artists who create from and support one another in their abundance and personal majesty, the universal emotional triggers of love and support were immediately supported.

The amygdala can only function if the body is allowed to respond with dialated pupils, sweaty palms...basically a rush of addrenelyn (sp? or Addrienne and Lynn?). Fight or flight can not engage if one is relaxed, happy, feels well nurtured, is well exercised/exersized...has been dancing...

So my lasting and lingering emotion is pride. If we all dance on the same hoop then your success is my success, if this this artist gets it, I get it too! This artist's work is doing the same creating that I am! So, my way will be made easier by the advancement of this artist through the fellowship.

I call this a "proud of my sister" moment. It lingers. I am used to having this feeling because I grew up in a household of six women who loved one another, took pride in one another, supported each other...this is the behavior I have come to expect and cherish in the sisters on my hoop.

Applying for funding of who you are is, to me, an interesting emotional experience.

Kari
Buen Dio de los Muertos.
Adios Lucy and Lissetta, wyrd sisters on the wheel. Katie is fine. She acts like a puppy. Mamma Chick chik

Adios Padre Mio, tu erres muy hamable. Gracias para todo los jakettas y el pescadore gear. Thanks also for your grandsons to inherit your best lessons. Husker Du! Kari