High Functioning Behavior

In the last post I mentioned that we need to have good boundaries within the web of wyrd. Here are some great check-in resources to be certain we are in high functioning mode. They come from Ann Wilson Schaef, University of Minnesota. When you notice these things in your behavior, just stop. Be in Verthandi, the present moment, and begin to unwind the oorlag. Find the kinks and triggers and sort out your emotions around them. Do not move forward in anything until you have reached healing within your own being.
Frithfully yours,
Kari

Signs that may trigger a return to codependency and the addictive process
By Ann Wilson Schaef

1. When we find ourselves talking about others in a way we would never do in person and when we do this to build allies and justify ourselves. (kt Creating relationship based on mutual disdain for the other. I see this in American politics and especially on facebook)
2. Dishonesty – a trigger back to disease from recovery. (kt There is no such thing as a little white lie.)
3. Whenever we are obsessed with a person or situation.
4. Whenever we become controlling and/or manipulative.
5. Whenever we interpret others/guess at what they think, Assume we know more about him/her than he/she does.
6. Self-neglect (including not eating/sleeping/exercising regularly, over working, neglecting family/house/plants/pets).
7. Comparisons
8. Blaming others
9. Jealousy
10.Dualistic thinking (either/or, black/white, polarities)

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

Trusting no one – trusting anyone – black and white thinking (all or nothing)
Telling all
Talking at an intimate level on first meeting
Falling in love with a new acquaintance
Falling in love with anyone who reaches out
Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied (obsessing)
Acting on first sexual impulse
Being sexual for partner, not self
Going against personal values or rights to please other
Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries
Accepting food, gifts, touch, sex that you don’t want
Touching a person without asking
Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting
Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving
Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you
Letting others direct your life
Letting others describe your reality
Letting others define you
Believing others can anticipate your needs
Expecting others to fill your needs automatically
Falling apart so someone will take care of you
Self abuse
Sexual and physical abuse
Food abuse (other addictions)

Questions from Students

Thanks for asking such good questions everyone.

Q.
I have connected to the web and am managing to stay there most of the day. It’s wonderful to see the multi-faceted connections. But, now what? What should I do next?

A.
This question comes up very often. It's a good and important one.

Mostly the answer is - do nothing, keep sitting in Verthandi, observing and contemplating but do not take any action until you are guided by Skuld, necessity. When Need show’s its name we may do or go.

Being in Verthandi is both unusual and fun. If you perceive the whole web, you are sitting in the space of the void. Your three roots are aligned with the world tree and your brain is well balanced. The pineal gland is open.

Try this:
Summon up a deep breath and hold it for several seconds. Observe the thickness, level of vibration, and physical attachments of the web as it begins in your spine. As you let your breath out, be aware of how this changes the size, shape and vibration of the web. See how far out your breath reaches and take note of what changes occur.

There are many fine exercises in my Volva Stav Manual.

Q.
I found a “knot” or kink in my lines. What should I do?

A.
Isolate that line in your breath and send a tone down the line. See what happens. Take note of your emotions around this kink in a one word list. I feel (one word).

The emotional body extends from your core by an arms length. Try to catch the emotions as they first touch this circuit of your web. If you stay in the void, you will be able to do this without judging or intellectualizing your emotional responses. Imperative while in the void.

If you find yourself unable to hold the state of non-judgment, wind your energy back from the web and into your core through your breath. Remember to keep meticulous notes for yourself. It is your pilgrim’s progress!

Q.
Someone asked me to heal a kink in their web. What should I do?

A.
Teach them to do it themselves. That’s all we have time for these days. We must all be healed healers now.